No, this isn’t the it’s not you, it’s me line that precedes the serving of breakfast (a breakup) read to the last paragraph to know what this is about.

You people, I almost didn’t fill this week’s entry, I just remembered rn and I’m like wow. I’m super grateful to like the 2 people that actually read this including my amazing Pastor, you make me feel seen x important and that’s why I haven’t dropped this.

So how did my week go! Worked from home on Monday, was at the office on Tuesday, worked from home on Wednesday, was at the office on Thursday, worked from home on Friday. If you can read my mind you’d know that I was super happy about this week’s work schedule. I don’t even know how to describe how work is atm but I honestly feel like I’m experiencing a burnout, I’m not excited about ideas or anything, I honestly just want the brief off my table so I can move to the next brief. Sye. I really hope it gets better and my spark returns.

I feel like (more like I know) my life’s pretty boring, which is why after I give y’all a rundown of work there isn’t always much to say. I mean all I do is work, pray, eat, study, Netflix (Y’all i’ve actually been doing really well with the no Netflix after 10pm rule) and sleep. Meanwhile I did something not so great, I stood a friend up, I didn’t pick his calls or communicate that I was neck deep in work and now I feel so bad, I’m too ashamed to call to apologize or say that I forgot because it’d honestly hurt him but I did forget. This is why I hate going out or agreeing to go out because it puts a responsibility on me and 98% of the time, I just want to be in bed. I’ll let us know if I fix up this new week, I think I’ll send an apology mail because me o, I can’t place a call.

So something not so amazing happened during the week, I did something God and I already agreed that I won’t do anymore and I hadn’t done in a while, when I realized it, I felt so baddddd! And I immediately apologized and told God I was sorry. But then I started worrying, what if God is tired of me, what if this becomes a cycle, what if God doesn’t forgive me, OMG, what if what I’m currently asking for God doesn’t do it cos I’ve sinned, omo, my head was just doing 123456 and I was calculating what nobody sent me.

Lool, and that was when He said it me, “It’s not you, it’s Me” The reassurance was heavyyy, He said it’s not your works, it’s My love, favor, mercy, grace and my mercies are new every morning. He was like “calm down my love, when I do something I do it because I want to, because I can and you know what I said about keeping you? I meant it, I’m able to uphold you and keep you in my arms unto the end.”

You guys there’s this peace, confidence and joy that comes with having Jesus, I can’t even describe it because it’s best experienced🥺. The week ended on a great note and I’m super excited about what this new week holds. 🤸🏽‍♀️✨